Before motherhood, I imagined that my life after kids would be mostly the same, but with kids. I didn't know how having kids would completely shift the center of my life, so that spending fun time with friends, family, and my husband would change from something central to something on the periphery.
We asked our Mighty Mamas to share their thoughts and here is what they said.
AFTER BECOMING A MOTHER, DID YOU CONTINUE TO NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS (WITH FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES)? IF SO, HOW?
"I think this is a very important question. I have really spent time trying to make sure I am nurturing those around me. Having children can really drain you as a person, and it's still so important to be there for others. Having said that, I need to work on nurturing my husband more. Our lives are so centered around the baby, we don't make enough time for ourselves. We are sure to make time for our families by visiting at least once a week!"
"Yes!! Friends and having a strong support network is so important. I try to do playdates with my mom friends regularly and make time to spend with them without the kids, even if that doesn't happen very often. I'm very lucky to have fantastic neighbors with kids, and we've all grown very close so social interaction is just a few doors away at all times. It's amazing and makes life so much better!"
"After I had my triplets the friendships that my husband had with other couples ended quickly. Everyone came to visit the babies after they were home from the NICU. I felt like we were a freak show. We were definitely excluded from a lot of invites after having the babies.
To be honest, when the kids were small, just the thought of taking the kids out sent me into panic mode. Now that they are older, we go out all the time. Life is just easier. I've hinted several times about playdates and that we'd love visitors to just come over and hang out. That has yet to happen.
Our families are another story. Even though she lives hundreds of miles away, my sister is my best friend. Her kids are like my kids. My husbands sister has a little girl close in age to mine. They too, live far away, but we visit as often as possible. We've all grown so much closer after the birth of our babies."
"It is hard to maintain friendships after becoming a mother, but I did and still do try to nurture those relationships! I realized how important my relationships continued to be for me after having kids, so even if it was a sacrifice, I still tried to maintain those relationships by going to dinner with friends or having playdates with them or whatever I could to nurture those relationships."
"Most of my close friends have children as well, so those relationships were fairly easy to nurture. Although, the topics of conversations have changed as we have all become mothers.
My relationship with my husband, on the other hand, has changed from what it was before we welcomed our son. It has required adjustments, a little more effort, and lots of communication from both of us. The Love Dare has really helped us to appreciate each other in our new roles as parents."
"I am trying, but it is really hard! A lot of times when my working day is (finally!) over and the little guy is in bed I am just sooo exhausted. But I try to have regular video calls with my friends and family back in the Netherlands (also so they Lucas), and aim to meet once a week with my best friends in Spain."
HAVE YOU NURTURED OTHER RELATIONSHIPS AFTER HAVING A CHILD?
P.S. If you liked this, you might also enjoy Mighty Mamas Talk About Their Most Embarassing Mom Moment
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