Welcome to Mighty Mamas, an ongoing series where mamas share their candid and raw thoughts on motherhood. Our intention is to create a supportive forum for sharing without judgment. Mamas - you are so mighty! Let's use that strength to build a powerful group of wonderful women who believe in motherhood.
Each week, we'll ask our mighty mamas a different question and get each of their perspectives. Join us here each Monday as mighty mamas talk motherhood.
How has your idea of motherhood changed since you've become a mother?
"Before you become a mom you've got all these ideas on how you'll parent and it's possible that you've adhered to those rules you've made in your head. More than likely you've had to become more fluid in your parenting style because you've realized that each of your kids is an unique individual and what's worked for one hasn't necessarily worked for the other and vice versa."
- Kayce, Mom to one, Preschool Teacher, Non Profit Founder
"In that first year of blossoming into a mama, I saw motherhood as some frenzied sprint to hit every milestone with my children. Honestly, the night we brought our first son home from the hospital I panicked and sent my exhausted husband out to buy extra nursery rhyme books because I insisted there weren't enough on our (well-stocked) bookshelf. (He was just six-days-old, but needed plenty of Hickory Dickory and Humpty Dumpty, and he needed it now!) Over the years, and three children later, I have realized that this journey is not at all about achieving intangible goals or crossing things off of some arbitrary list. It isn't about when they say their first words, or learn to read, or ditch their training wheels. It is about soaking up every step of the journey together as you help them get there."
-Aimee, Mom to three, Homeschooling Stay at Home Mom, Writer, Blogger
"I’ve realized just how important my job really is and I take it very seriously! I feel like it’s sometimes assumed that you have a child and you are instantly equipped with everything you need to know to raise a child. Some of us have great role models around us and that gives us a head start, but to me motherhood is the most important job I will have in my life. To do the best job possible, it takes research, thoughtful observation and lots of trial and error. But it’s so worth it!!"
- Brandi, Mom to two, Stay at Home Mom, Small Business Owner
"It sounds a tad silly now but I didn't think it would be this much. I didn't think it would be all encompassing all the time. I didn't think my children would consume my almost every thought. I dream about them and wake up in the middle of the night for no reason other than to make sure they are okay. I guess I thought that my motherhood would have times where it automatically turned off and that isn't the case. I guess I thought it would occupy a compartment in my mind and it occupies my entire mind in some way, shape or form all the time. I've become it and it's become me and we are now joined together for always."
- Rachel, Mom to two, Marketing Business Analyst, Small Business Owner
"I thought that when I became a mom, I could handle everything on my own and that it was weak to ask for help. But humanity is designed for community; it's crucial to have a circle of trusted family and friends that you can lean on when needed. Since experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety, I am so grateful for my community. I would have literally died without them!"
-Kelly, Mom to two, School Secretary, Bookkeeper
"That the journey through childhood is less about me and more about them. I used to think that there was a "right" way to nurture a child. I still am drawn to the earthy side of motherhood, but humbly realize that every individual is just that, an individual. As long as I don't block their way, they will become who they are."
-Dana, Mom to five, Grandma to five, Teacher
"Before I became a mother, I naively assumed motherhood was so much more straightforward than it actually is. I vastly underestimated the propensity of my parenting values to compete with each other.
For example, I believe that kids should have ample opportunities to explore their interests…And I believe that kids should not be overscheduled. I believe that kids need consistent rules to follow…And I believe that kids need to learn to speak up for themselves and practice their negotiation skills. I believe that kids should be taught to take care of things…And I believe that kids should be allowed to be creative and taught not to over-value things.
I could go on infinitely, but my point is that parenting involves constant evaluation and balancing of values. Before I became a mother, I assumed parenting was just a matter of knowing and implementing your values."
-Kasey, Mom to two, Attorney
"I thought it would be a lot more straightforward. I was always "good with kids," so I thought there would be a bit of an adjustment once I had a child, but I would learn how to be a mother pretty quickly, and from then on I would know what to do. I've long since lost count of the number of times I've had no clue how to handle something new! Also, I've been floored by the raw intensity of emotions that come with motherhood, and sometimes at seemingly random times. The best, of course, is love, but there is also fear and doubt and exuberance and pride and many more."
- Amanda, Mom to three, Stay at Home Mom, Small Business Owner
"It is a lot harder and more time consuming than I expected. If we have to leave the house, I need at the very least a two-hour's notice. I don't think I have slept through the night since I was pregnant. My son is 22 months old, and I feel like I am JUST starting to come around and take care of myself a little more. It has made me respect mothers of all ages, creeds, races and backgrounds - solidarity!
It is hard work, it is tiring, and yet it is the most rewarding and fulfilling job ever!"
-Yadhira, Mom to one, Engineering
"It's more intense emotionally than I ever thought it would be. It's not just taking care of someone and raising them. Your heart and soul goes into your little ones, it's profound!"
- Komal, Mom to one, GIS Analyst, Small Business Owner
HOW HAS YOUR IDEA OF MOTHERHOOD CHANGED SINCE YOU'VE BECOME A MOTHER?
P.S. If you enjoyed this you may also enjoy MIGHTY MAMAS.
If you are interested in contributing to this series, contact us and let us know.