A LOVE LETTER TO MOTHERS

Dearest Mothers,

To the mothers rocking their babies to sleep all hours of the night - I know you're exhausted. My babies aren’t big fans of sleeping either and it completely wears me down. Don’t track the hours of sleep you did or didn’t get - it’ll only make you feel worse. From one tired mama to another, I hear that someday, they will sleep. Let’s hope it happens before college.

To the mothers tending to sick babies - I know that horrible feeling of seeing your baby in pain and not be able to stop it. I know how it feels to desperately need a shower because you are covered in 'stuff'. Hang in there. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, you are helping. It is your touch, your hug, your caress, your warmth, your voice that comforts them. Even if they thank you by vomiting on you.

To the mothers wondering if they are doing it right - you are. This question will remain with you throughout your life but rest assured there is no right way to raise a child as long as it’s done with love. It’s a big job and it’s okay to question yourself - it makes you better. Please remember that you are the only right mother for your children. You either already possess or will grow to possess everything they need.

To the mothers who lost a baby - my heart aches for you. I don’t know firsthand the grief and heartbreak you are experiencing, but I know beautiful mothers who have been in the same position. I sympathize with your loss. You are the strongest of the bunch.

To the mothers feeling like aliens in their bodies - I know this feeling. One day you wake up and your pregnancy seems to have taken over your body. It’s a tricky place to be in, especially when you have a hard time getting up off the floor. You are a vessel but some days it feels a lot less glorious than it sounds. Your body will inevitably return to you, but for now go along for the ride.

To the mothers struggling with their new post baby shapes - I am too. Everything changes, rearranges and feels different - all things considered I suppose it would have been naive to expect any different. Please remember how beautiful you are. Show yourself some compassion and remember you brought life into the world - that is kind of a big deal. Things fall into place but this will only happen with time.

To the mothers who said things that they regret to their kids today - they will forgive you. Go easy on yourself and don’t forget that you too are human. It’s okay, you haven’t ruined your children. We all have our moments. Try your best to recover gracefully, admit your mistake and move forward. Most importantly remember to forgive yourself.

To the mothers juggling kids at the grocery store - you are awesome. The very fact that you leave the store with a portion of what you need, yourself and kids intact deserves an award. Handling little humans and various moods all while accomplishing your to do list is tough work. I won’t even mention the aisles upon aisles of breakable items in your path. Give yourself a bit of credit and relax - blueberries, saltines and squash is a perfectly acceptable dinner.

To the brand new mothers with a fresh bundle in their arms - sit and stare. Breathe them in and whisper thank yous to the universe. Don’t listen if people tell you that you are spoiling them by holding them - nothing can be ruined with love. Spend some time in awe of yourself for what you have created. 

To the mothers who are overwhelmed - you got this. You really do, even if you feel like you’re falling apart. Trust me, I fall apart regularly. Take a moment, regroup and remind yourself that you are strong. Then go handle your business. Every mother in the world has found themselves overwhelmed. We are all with you, let us give you a hug and send you on your way.

To the mothers who are busy judging other mothers - this is a colossal waste of time. There is no right way to mother and don't waste your precious time on it. We all mother from a place of love and that is enough. Instead, work to heal whatever hurt is allowing you to project your fears onto others. Heal and forgive yourself. We have already forgiven you.

To the mothers who have become a pile of tears on the floor - welcome to motherhood. I know this sounds odd but this is normal. It’s part of figuring it all out. Take a moment. Breathe. Cry it out. Get up off the floor. Dust yourself off. You will be just fine.

To all the mothers, doing the work of mothering, day in and day out - you got this. You are strong. You are lovely. You are enough. You are appreciated.

With admiration, appreciation and love,

A mother who is trying to take her own advice and show herself some grace.


WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A MOM WHO IS GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME?

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